Grief
by Jack Solo Black
Summary: Just a short fic, taking place when Remus Lupin was a kid. Told from his point of view. Revealing some painful tradgedies of his childhood days.
1. Midnight

Grief.

Chapter 1: Midnight.

It should never have happened. Not to him, not to anyone. It could have been avoided. I could have stopped it. Should have. I would have stopped it, had I known all those years ago, what would happen. Had I known, that a simple walk in the woods, could spell disaster.

I have spent the last twenty eight years of my life, living in grief, pain, and fear.

Grief, for the loss of my twin brother, Romulus, and for my parents leaving.

Pain, from the constant, and unbearable changes, that even now, I am still forced to endure. And Fear.

Fear, for what I am, for what I have become. Fear, that someone may find out, may see me, as what I really am: A Monster.

This grief. This pain. These fears. All have driven me to how I live today. Alone. I have always been alone. Ever since I was eight. Almost nine.

It could all have been changed, avoided. But no. And now, because of my mistakes, my naivety, I am alone.

Haunted, by pain, fear, and grief.

I sat alone on the edge of my bed, waiting for the time when my brother would come and get me from downstairs. I glanced at my bedside clock. The time read half way to twelve, midnight.

I knew it was a bad idea. Our parents had always said never to go out after dark. They'd never said why. Even if we asked. We assumed it was just because they thought we'd get lost, or were worried we'd get mugged, or abducted. It had happened.

I was still worried, as I heard my brother's footsteps up the stairs, from his room below. It was twenty-five minutes to midnight.

There was a soft knock at my door, and Romulus entered the room, just pulling on a thick brown jacket, over his pajama top.

"Hey Remus? You up?"

"Yeah," I said quietly, throwing on my old black Trench Coat. It had been my dad's, years ago, and it was a bit big. But it was warm.

"Rom, I still don't think this is a good idea."

"Look, don't worry Remus, we're only going for a walk. Besides, we won't go far, just into the edge of the woods and back."

Had I known, all those years ago, what was to happen that night, and on a night just one year later, then maybe I would have been a lot more worried. Wouldn't have gone. I did.

We left the house quietly, closing the back door behind us, a slight breeze, ruffling my brother's short brown hair, identical to mine.

"It's cold out here."

"I know. Let's get moving. Come on, we can be back in a few minutes. No one will even know we've gone."

We walked quietly across the yard, towards the woods out back. 'Romulus was right. It was just a walk.'

The full moon shone brightly overhead, lighting our way, until we got a bit further into the woods, where the trees were thicker.

"Rom. We should go back now. It's gotten darker, and I can't see where I'm going." Romulus kept walking ahead. "Come on, I just want to go a bit further."

I checked my watch again. It now read ten minutes to midnight.

Ahead of me, the bushes moved, and a few twigs cracked. I looked around.

We had come to a small clearing, in a part of the woods in which I'd never been. "Wow. I've never been this far before," Romulus said, as another twig cracked nearby.

i Eight minutes to midnight. /i 

Romulus turned around, to face me. "Remus. What was that?"

"I dunno. An animal maybe. A cat, or a dog. A Badger maybe."

I felt a sudden, creeping chill up my spine, and a cool wind whipped the ends of my coat.

i _Six minutes to midnight. /_i 

There was a feral growl from behind a bush, and another twig snapped, the now visible moonlight, catching the glint of bright animal eye-shine.

I stepped back, to warn Romulus, tapping him on the shoulder. "Romulus," I whispered, pointing. He nodded, and turned to leave.

i _It was four minutes to midnight_. /i 

A loud, angry howl rent the air, striking us still with dread, chilling us to beyond the bone. Angry, menacing. Hungry.

I stood frozen, still in fear, as the bushes before me parted, and something leapt, snarling angrily, from the bushes, and into the clearing. Towards us.

"Romulus! Run!" I cried out, suddenly regaining my voice, and the use of my limbs. We ran. Pelting for our lives, back towards the other side of the clearing, towards our home.

Behind me, Romulus tripped and fell, slamming face first to the ground, and let out a strangled yelp, as he tried desperately to regain his feet.

I ran back, grabbing his wrists and pulling him up, as the now distinctly dog-like creature lunged again.

"Romulus! Get out of here!" I yelled, pushing him out of the way, towards home. "Go!"

Romulus stopped. "Remus!"

"Just go!" I cried, and he began to run, just as I was hit hard, from behind, shoved roughly forward to the ground.

I twisted, and rolled over in time to see something large, and hairy come crashing down on top of me, snarling, sharp claws digging painfully into my shoulders.

I cried out, in a mixture of pain, and fear, as I caught sight of the sharp, yellowing teeth, and smelt the foul, putrid breath, wafting over my face.

In the distance, a clock started to chime. i _One minute to midnight. /_i 

The creature above me growled, raising a thin, Wolf-like muzzle to the sky.

The animals cry went up, sharp, and loud on the night air. A strange, low, haunting cry, that seemed to silence even the most prominent of noises. The sound was so cold, and unforgiving, yet so full of an emotion that seemed almost heartbroken, but at the same time, a cold, merciless hatred. Triumph.

As the creature lowered its muzzle, the cruel, faintly humanoid howls still rang in my ears, and I felt a sharp, almost paralyzing pain shoot up through my neck, and to my spine.

As a profound, and deathly darkness claimed me, the last, long chime from the clock echoed across the silent grounds, like a final, closing ring for the condemned. The end. i _Midnight. /_i 


	2. Disaster

Chapter 2: Disaster.

A/N: Hi lol. This chapter contains alot more Werewolf violence than the last one, so yeah. There is also a rather descriptive transformation, that some have described as "Slightly disturbing." lol.

It was one year, since it had happened. Exactly twelve months, since the incident in the forest. twelve months after I had first woken up to find myself at home in bed, with a chronic headache, and a sharp pain in my neck.

I was still paying for it.

When my parents had confronted me, there had been a lot of emotion. First there was worry, and relief. Then anger. Then there was guilt. Then fear.

I realized then, how much trouble one midnight stroll in the woods had caused. I was cursed.

My parents had explained about Lycanthropy, and how I would now be affected by it, and the change. To put it bluntly: I was a Werewolf.

Because of our stupidity, I was now cursed to spend the rest of my life in chains, restricted by the nature of my condition.

Every month, for the past year of my life, I had transformed. Changed, from a quiet, mousy haired, seven year old boy, into a vicious, bloodthirsty killer. An inhuman monster. A beast.

I was eight now, and the monthly transformations were still as frightening and as painful as ever.

Tonight, as it happened, was the full moon.

Exactly one year, twelve previous transformations since the first, and the same night on which I had been bitten.

I stood in the shed out the back, waiting for my father to come back with the chains.

i _It was halfway to twelve midnight. /_i 

We had been through this many times already, every time the full moon came round again, but it still hadn't got any easier.

My heart wrenched as my father entered the shed with the chains in his hands. It broke his heart to do it, I knew. Mine too. But he had to.

Neither of us spoke as my father looped the chains around my wrists and ankles. We never did. There was nothing to say.

Suddenly I was hit with a wave of nausea, and felt a familiar pain down my spine. I should have cried out, should have said something, to warn my father to hurry. The changes were upon me.

i _Twenty-five minutes to midnight. /_i 

The pain down my spine quickly accelerated, wracking my body with aching spasms, as my hands twisted and warped, my arms thinning, lengthening. My nails pushed sharply through my skin, thickening, becoming sharp, lethal claws.

My knees cracked, reversing with a sick grinding, as my legs and feet became longer, elongating, and stretching to form powerful hind legs. My toenails tore through the ends of my shoes, which I had forgotten to take off.

My spine cracked and popped, shooting upwards, increasing my overall height by about two feet. The shirt and coat I had forgotten to leave behind in the house split down the middle, as my strong, muscular frame became too large for my once comfortable clothes. My pants were already in shreds.

My tailbone snapped loudly, as it was shot outwards, curving up behind me, to form the tail. A feature that humans were most definitely i _not_ /i supposed to have.

i _Fifteen minutes to midnight. /_i 

It was here that the problems started. My father was still in the shed, and had not quite managed to lop the chain round my neck, as I had started to transform.

My skin had grown hot, and my blood pressure rose. He was unable to touch me during the transformation.

I cried out, in a hoarse, choked yell, as my skull gave a sickening i _crunch, /_i and was pushed sharply outwards, growing, lengthening, twisting grotesquely, to form a thin, Wolf-like muzzle.

I was panting now, crying out, in harsh, inhuman yowls, and moans, as my teeth were pushed sharply through my gums, becoming pointed, inch-long fangs.

Suddenly, an emotion woke in me that I had no control over, as the Wolf's mind merged with mine, blocking out all ability to think my own thoughts, taking over all control of both my body and mind.

i _Twelve minutes to midnight. /_i 

I didn't have the strength to fight it, as the beast inside of me clawed itself free, ripping to the surface with a fierce, angry rage.

My father leapt back, as my head was jerked sharply to the side, as the beast ripped free of its last restraints.

I felt angry, powerful, and an acute, longing hunger gnawed at my insides, as I was hit with an uncontrollable bloodlust.

i _Ten minutes to midnight. /_i 

I sniffed the air, and caught the intense, tantalizing scent of man. i _Food. /_i 

I lunged toward my father, jaws snapping shut on air, just a hairs breadth away from my his left hand.

He dropped the end of the chain he had been attempting to secure to the back wall of the shed, and leapt back, as I tried again, to reach him. My father left the shed quickly, bolting the door behind him.

I was enraged now, driven by the strong, fresh scent of human blood. I threw myself forward, against the chains, snarling with frustration at the bindings.

Normally the chains would have held, but the end that was usually looped around my neck had been abandoned on the floor, as my father fled to safety.

I wrenched myself forward again, and the loose chains creaked against the weight. I swung my head round, biting at the links, struggling to break free. With an almighty lurch, the chains snapped, falling to the ground with a thud.

I growled, hurling myself at the shed door. The tin groaned, as I backed up and rammed my shoulder into the frame. The door creaked, and buckled with my force, hanging crookedly on its hinges.

I wrenched it open with my front paws, and there was an awful screeching, as my claws raked the metal, leaving three deep gouges in the old tin.

i_ Four minutes to midnight. /_i 

I growled, hungrily, sniffing the air. There was a sound from the direction of the house, and I turned to look, as my brother Romulus stepped into the yard.

"Remus?" He walked toward the shed, and his mouth fell open as he saw the shed door swinging from its hinges.

I snarled, catching his scent in the air, and ran forward, just as Jake turned towards me.

I drew my legs beneath me, slowing as I approached.

Romulus opened his mouth to cry out, but it was too late. I leapt, heaving upwards with my hind legs, paws extended, my claws slamming into Jakes shoulders, pushing him to the ground, pinning him down.

I growled hungrily, as Romulus' terrified face looked up at me, his eyes alight with fear, and a deep, almost invisible flicker of sorrow, and what could only be guilt.

I threw back my head, and loosed a short, triumphant howl, before lunging forward, sinking my fangs into Romulus' throat, and slicing deep into the jugular vein.

I gave a half-whine, of cruel satisfaction, as the blood flowed into my mouth, as the life was slowly pumped out of his body, by his still beating heart.

When the pulse stopped, and the last, small vestibules of life had left my brothers body, I released his now mangled throat, letting the blood leach out, staining the grass, my fangs, the night, red with blood, and the light slowly faded from my brothers eyes, as they became dark, and glassy with death.

i _It was one minute to midnight. /_i 

I threw back my head, and let loose a long, low, painful howl, that rent the still night air, piercing the hearts, and souls of all those that heard it that night. Even mine.

I would awake, the next morning, in the grass, covered with blood, next to the mangled, bloodied remains of my dead brother, Romulus. Forever to be haunted, by pain, fear, and grief.

Somewhere, far in the distance, A clock struck midnight.

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A/N: So, wa'd'ya think? You like it? Please review. I always do. Really. I do. Honest.


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